With numbers of highly distressed / oppressed rising exponentially by the day, country needs a network / chain of SOB-N-CRY Bars in every town immediately with features / facilities like –
Exclusive Happy-Hours for Lonely Hearts / Jilted Lovers / Defeated and Frustrated Netas / Retired, Suspended and Charge-sheeted Babus / Disgruntled Journalists / Eminent-Disgraced-Leftist Intellectuals / Owners of Banned NGOs / Solitudinarians / Khap-Panchayat Victims / Fake-Dowry Complaint Victims / #MeToo Victims / Failed Students and IAS Aspirants On the Verge of Committing Suicide…
Sob-N-Cry Bars must be open on all days being classified as an essential service under Essential Services Maintenance Act.
Weekly / monthly schedule of their respective Happy-Hours for all may be decided based on seasonal demand in consultation with all stake-holders with inconvenience to none.
Strike / unrest in these Bars must be banned altogether.
Snacks must be served on No-Profit-No-Loss Basis in view of abject and pitiable state of mind of visitors.
Appropriate musical ambiance within premises of Bars should be permissible.
Licencing terms and conditions for Sob-N-Cry Bars must be liberal.
No street-vendor be allowed to sell ‘Namkeen’ just outside every Bar to maintain dignity and sobriety of Bars.
With minimum two drinks, any amount of tissue paper should be allowed free.
All waiters / waitresses must be trained how to offer their shoulders to those who need that to cry upon. They must be endowed with exceedingly amiable disposition in all aspects of human conduct.
Facility of paying bills through comfortable EMIs at 0% interest must be provided for those who may notch heavy amount in bills out of sheer despondence in life.
Financing facility @ 0% rate of interest must be available for launching new outlets.
If an outlet of Sob-N-Cry Bar runs into loss, Government must provide subvention to sustain that. After all, it is a philanthropic social service.
Must be declared an important constituent of ‘Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas’, PM’s programme of national development.
Where are dynamic entrepreneurs / US $ investment bankers / Euro venture capitalists ?
Are they listening to me ?