Loneliness has to be transformed into Aloneness

ma jivan shaifaly osho ashram gujrat yatra making india

The beginning of love is always muddy.

It is full of jealousy, possessiveness, bargaining. It is of dependence, and because there is dependence, there is anger too. Nobody wants to be dependent.

To feel dependent on somebody naturally creates anger towards the person, because he becomes your imprisonment. But in the beginning, love is always dependent.

In the beginning, the love is exactly like the love of a child for the mother. The child is dependent, and completely helpless, and knows perfectly well that his survival is in the mother’s hands.

That is the first experience of love, and whenever you move in love that will always be the first experience again because that’s how you have learned love.

Millions of people remain stuck at that first love and they miss all the beauties and the heights of love.

The lotus is never born; they remain in the mud.

So this is nothing wrong in itself; it will become wrong only if you become confined to it.

Otherwise, it is a good beginning; in itself, there is nothing wrong. You follow me?

If you remain confined in it, if your love does not grow beyond it, then it is ugly. But it can grow beyond it, and you are conscious about it — that it should grow beyond it — so you can help it grow.

This is how one has to pass through these phases of suffering.

Those painful moments that come are needed; through them, you are cleansed, purified; through them you become integrated.

Through them, you become an individual.

Hence the second thing: whenever you are in love, only then do you start feeling lonely. The person who has never loved never feels lonely.

Why should he feel lonely? He has never felt togetherness.

If you have never seen light you will never see darkness. How can you see darkness without seeing light? Once you have seen light, even as lightning, just for a moment, then suddenly there is darkness. It has always been there but now you become aware of it.

Man is born alone, but is not aware unless love happens.

When love happens like lightning, suddenly you start feeling very lonely. It looks very paradoxical, because people think, “When we are in love we will not be lonely.” That is all nonsense!

When you are in love then only will you know that you are lonely. But that loneliness has to be transformed into aloneness. That loneliness has to be respected, loved, nourished. That loneliness has not to be taken as an enemy but as a friend.

So when it happens, just close your eyes and go into it. Make it a meditative space, and you will be surprised: slowly slowly you will start enjoying it, because it is beautiful, because it has freedom, it has space, it has infinite space.

Loneliness has to be transformed into aloneness through meditation; meditation is the bridge which takes you from loneliness to aloneness. But one has to be very patient; these are delicate phenomena.

The people who live a gross life never become aware of these things. The grossest people are those who are not even aware of loneliness.

They have never loved — they may know something about sex but they know nothing about love.

Sex is using the other person like a machine. You are not together with the other, you are just using the other; and when the use is finished, the other is finished.

That’s why prostitution exists in the world — because millions of people live at that stage.

They don’t want love; in fact they are afraid of love. They want only sex. Sex is no problem for them because it never gives them the taste of togetherness; hence they never feel lonely. That is their strategy to avoid loneliness.

Unless people become more loving, prostitution is not going to disappear from the world. These are very complex problems: prostitution exists because there is no love and the priests have helped prostitution in the world because they have been teaching people things which go against love.

If people are unloving, prostitution is going to exist.