By no stretch of imagination, may I be dubbed irrational or anything else for that matter. Even after completing more than half of my joyful life, I have been able to identify ONLY ONE marriage which may be called Love-Marriage, if at all !! That is the marriage of Swami Ramakrsna Paramahamsa and Ma Sarda. Sounds strange, indeed !!! Ironically, it is true.
Because LOVE MARRIAGE IS A MISNOMER. IT DOES NOT EXIST.
So-called love marriages are predominantly PASSION MARRIAGES, INFATUATION MARRIAGES or merely LUST MARRIAGES for that matter. I find it utterly absurd to declare them ‘love marriages’. Falling in ‘love at first sight’ very well fits in the scheme of so-called love marriages. This ‘falling in love’ may be motivated by the greed of wealth, status, mere physical / carnal attraction or any other flimsy reason.
In all such cases, emotionally deprived and insecure youngsters are ripe ‘to fall in love’ with those who may be completely incompatible, giving rise to the idiotic, proverbial saying – Love is blind. In fact, LOVE IS NEVER BLIND. That’s not love at all. It is the intellect / mind of the person ‘falling in love’ that is miserably dark and blind.
LOVE IS ABSOLUTELY AWAKE, CONSCIOUS AND SELFLESS, DEVOID OF POSSESSIVENESS. IT IS DIVINE IN NATURE & REMAINS FRESH / FRAGRANT ALWAYS AND EVER.
Lust / passion marriages almost invariably lead to bitter acrimony, violence and then, divorce. Passion / lust never lasts. Cosmic laws cannot be violated or taken for granted. Passion / lust evaporates too soon because it is transient in nature. Swami Vivekananda too, had addressed all the Johns and Janes in America on the subject of passion / infatuation / lust marriages, practised by them in the garb of love marriages and the horrifying consequences which their society has been condemned to bear with.
Noble souls are never born to passion / lust / infatuation marriages. Mostly demoniacal ones are born to such couples giving rise to further degradation of society.
Arranged marriages are based on compatibility of past Karma-s, Samskara-s thereof and future possibilities. Karma-s and future possibilities are accessed through horoscopes. Compatibility also includes family background, too. Blessings of elders from both sides constitute a major base for the success of arranged marriages. Lot of thinking goes into decision-making regarding arranged marriages. Exploring the spouse after marriage, sparingly known hitherto is yet another charm of arranged marriage instead of it’s being a disadvantage. When Karma-s of both sides match and the couple blessed all around, noble souls are attracted towards them to be born. Thus, through properly arranged marriages, society evolves for the better.
For all the so-called deficiencies / deformities of the institution of arranged marriage, further improvisation is the adequate / appropriate response and certainly not passion / lust / infatuation marriage in the garb of love marriage. It is an onerous responsibility upon parents not to cause their kids emotionally starved or unattended. A youngster who is emotionally sound and well-fed psychologically, shall NEVER fall in ‘love’ with anyone just at the drop of hat !!! He / she shall be an ardent supporter of arranged marriage through well-thought over considerations and collective decision. THEN ROMEOS SHALL NOT BE ABLE TO FIRST SEDUCE INNOCENT GIRLS, THEN RUIN THEIR LIVES !!! Then, LOVE-JIHAD shall not exist. Muslim community is simply deriving advantage of the prevalent emotional scars on our young daughters and it must be countered immediately and effectively.
The matter is so serious in nature that it cannot be brushed under one’s carpet just because of heavy engagements, professional commitments, scarcity of time and all that blah, blah…stakes are very very stupendous involving our lives, future of our Hindu society as well as future of our country. These must be our first priority, then only personal / professional advancements.
Americans / Europeans crave for family, spouse, kids etc. They are agape with wonder at the success of our ancient family / extended family system while struggling to replicate / transplant the same into their society. Ultimately, our ancient values are time-tested and successful because these are ULTRA-MODERN & EVER MODERN !!! That is why these are being emulated by the so-called most modern, western societies while we treat these nonchalantly. Had our Hindu values not been ultra-modern (these are always ahead of their time !!!), these would not have survived, leave alone flourishing for all these years.
SHUN ‘LOVE-MARRIAGE’. DO NOT TOUCH IT EVEN WITH A BARGE POLE. PRACTICE AND WELCOME ARRANGED MARRIAGE WITH BLESSINGS OF ALL. ‘LOVE-JIHAD’ TOO, SHALL THEN DIE IT’S WELL-DESERVED DEATH.